The Ospreys’ St Helen’s Glory: A Feathered Fist to the Scarlet Moaners

By Bill Phennet “AKA JC Osprey”, Your Feathered Sovereign and Wailsonline’s Rugby Rhapsodist

Rugby kin, flock to the sacred nest of Wailsonline, where the Ospreys’ wings soar higher than a Dan Biggar spiral bomb! I, Bill Phennet , stand before you, not merely an editor but the bard of Ospreylia, my heart thumping like a St Helen’s roar when Alun Wyn Jones charges into a ruck. Today, I speak for every Ospreys fan, from the salty shores of Mumbles to the hallowed turf of our soon-to-be-reborn St Helen’s, as we bask in a victory sweeter than a post-match pint.

Look at us, the Ospreys, the mighty talons of Welsh rugby, forged in the crucible of the Liberty Stadium, baptised in the sweat of Justin Tipuric and Alun-Wyn, the guile of Shane Williams, and the steel of Adam Jones. We are the black-and-white warriors, the pride of Ospreylia, who’ve toppled giants from Munster to the Wallabies. And now, Swansea Council, those wise guardians of our city, have handed us the keys to St Helen’s, one of our ancestral fortresses, where legends like Billy Trew and Scott Gibbs carved their names into eternity. Planning permission granted! A new dawn for our nest, and not a moment too soon!

But hark, what’s this I hear? Two late objections, like seagulls squawking at a chip van in Neath, trying to foul our glorious moment. One from a lone Scarlet, clutching his Sospan Fach mug, his little face redder than his favourite rugby top, and another from the official Scarlets supporters’ club, bleating about “misuse of council taxpayers’ funds.” Misuse? Oh, spare us the crocodile tears, Llanelli! Let’s take a stroll down the Scarlet road of financial farce, shall we? Gather round and let me spin you a tale of Carmarthenshire Council’s love affair with their precious Scarlets, a saga of loans, defaults, and handouts that’d make a Swansea ratepayer’s blood boil.

• 2007: Carmarthenshire County Council, drunk on Scarlet fever, hands over a £2.4 million loan at 7% interest to fund the Scarlets’ shiny Parc y Scarlets, plus £18.3 million in “aid” for a £25.4 million stadium. The land? Leased to the Scarlets for 150 years, rent-free unless they strike gold. A sweetheart deal sweeter than a joe’s ice cream down the Mumbles!
• 2010: October rolls around, and the council, soft as a soggy pasty, defers interest payments on the loan for three years, letting the Scarlets off the hook while Swansea taxpayers keep their council services lean.
• 2013 Q1: The wise Carms council sells a car park opposite Parc y Scarlets for £850,000. Guess who gets £650,000? The Scarlets! The council, who owned the land, pockets a measly £200,000. Daylight robbery in Llanelli!
• 2013 October: Oh, look, October again! The £2.4 million loan, now £2.616 million, gets a makeover—interest slashed to 3.5% above the 0.5% base rate, costing the council £800,000 in lost earnings. This while Carmarthenshire cuts £31 million from assets to balance the books. Priorities, eh?
• 2015: An FOI request spills the beans: council disagreements over giving away assets to the Scarlets were steamrolled by Plaid MP Rhodri Glyn Thomas. Democracy? More like Scarletocracy!
• 2023: The Scarlets’ accounts are bleeding redder than their jerseys—losses over £1 million, liabilities topping £3 million. Whispers of illegal state aid from that 2007 “investment” swirl, but Carmarthenshire Council just shrugs.
• 2024 September: The Scarlets default on their 2023 loan repayment deadline—surprise, surprise! Carmarthenshire, ever the doting parent, restructures the loan again, backdating it to April 1, 2023, for 15 years, with no payments due until 2026. This while the Scarlets project a £4 million loss in 2024.

Meanwhile, Swansea Council invests in the city redevelopment without a whiff of such nonsense!

So, Scarlets supporters, you dare cry “misuse” when Swansea Council backs our Ospreys’ rightful return to St Helen’s? You, who’ve suckled at Carmarthenshire’s teat for decades, with loans deferred, interest slashed, and car parks gifted like Christmas presents? Your club’s a financial house of cards, propped up by council handouts while our Ospreys soar on grit and glory. Swansea’s investment in St Helen’s is for the people, for the passion, for the future of Welsh rugby—not a bailout for a sinking ship!

Go on, Scarlets, clutch your Ray Gravell fluffy red comfort blankets and wail about taxpayers’ funds. But know this: when the Ospreys take flight at St Helen’s, with the roar of our faithful shaking the stands, we’ll be writing a new chapter in rugby history. You’ll hear our wings beating, our anthems rising, and our tackles thundering. We’re not just a team; we’re a movement, a tidal wave of black-and-white pride that’ll sweep you away like those pesky loan repayments you never made.

My fellow Ospreylians, ye mighty flock of feathered faithful, they tried to clip our wings, to snatch our sacred ground from beneath us, to dim the black-and-white blaze of our success!

When the WRU’s grim reapers came for our club and theirs, we stood shoulder to shoulder with the Scarlets, a united West Wales bulwark against their club-killing murder squads, our backs guarded by those we thought were brothers in arms. We chanted “West is Best!” as one, repelling the Eastern invaders, those Welsh cockneys with their Cardiff swagger and Dragons’ delusionists.

Yet, at the 11th hour, as Swansea Council sealed our St Helen’s triumph, the Scarlets’ faithful didn’t just falter, NO, they plunged a dagger into our backs, their objections a betrayal viler than that endured by William Wallace at Falkirk in 1298!

And these are the bastards we welcome to our new ground soon!

Disclaimer: Wailsonline takes no responsibility for Three Team’s theories about French UFOs, WRU conspiracies, or his claim that the Scarlets are secretly run by a council of rugby gods. Send complaints to Dai, who’s still apologizing for the Sospan Fach incident.